I Love You Kim, But This Kmells Bad

Well, it’s not the best fragrance I’ve smelled.

I remember reading months and months ago that my favorite Armenian, Kim Kardashian, was working on a fragrance. I must have it, I thought to myself, I don’t even care what it smells like, or costs. It is mine. Naturally, I thought it would smell great, something spicy and maybe woodsy with a touch of whatever would attract Reggie Bush. Done. I’m there. It’s bought.

So imagine my surprise when I got this month’s Glamour and, in it, a sample of the perfume (which is simply- and sort of blandly- called Kim Kardashian). I wasn’t expecting it to be out yet, so I gleefully ripped the paper sleeve open and prepared myself for greatness, only to find… what WAS that? It smelled sort of musky, yes, but also really floral, in an old-lady sort of way. And not a glamorous old lady who would wear Chanel No. 5, or even an AC old lady who would wear, I don’t know, White Diamonds. Another kind of old lady, you know the type I mean. It also reminded me a lot of another perfume that I couldn’t pinpoint until I read some (generally not so stellar) reviews of it on Sephora. Michael Kors. YES. Exactly like that, but cheaper. What happened Kim?! I loved the ads, didn’t mind the purple bottle, but come the f on. I know I told myself I’d buy it regardless, but I don’t think I can. Though I do hear you are also coming out with a makeup line, so I’ll let this one slide and give you another chance with that. I expect lots of smokey eye goodness, so don’t let me down again.

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